keep on plodding

I'm pretty sure I'm upset. I can't write elegantly, or maintain any frame of thought for very long. I think I almost cried a moment ago. I'd say I hate it...except I don't have the energy. So I'm just going to ramble here. Wait a while longer for a more intelligent post.

I just had a dinner date. Earlier today I was as happy as I had ever been. Hanging with my little dance crew, sucking down chocolate thickshakes in some absurdly expensive deli, looking forward eagerly to a dinner date. I love staring into a persongirl's eyes while we talk.

Gosh she really took the wind out of my sails. I can scarcely write but I know I have to save these thoughts somewhere before I lose them forever.

I saw her beautiful little workplace. Her beautiful little coworkers. I watched her give her perfect advice to her -boss- as we left the building.

Dammit I can feel something in my chest. Have to keep writing.

We walked to dinner, I wanted to eat at Shogun. My strength was waning. She said she'd eaten here before. Of course.

Why the hell did I say I thought she was perfect?

How many more girls do I have to fight and lose to before I win?

I wonder if she lied?

Fuck, I feel so weak. I can't write anymore.